He loves me. He actually loves me. I was conceived in the heart of God for His pleasure.
I’ve been running away from love for as long as I’ve been a Christian. It’s just too scary to face Him with all of my weakness and ask Him to love me. A long time ago I started believing that something was seriously wrong with me, and I was pretty much unlovable.
Repentance makes sense to me. I can weep before God about my sin. I can tell Him why I am awful and screwed up, but it’s so hard to believe that He would love me. I want this paradigm to change!
At times He has overwhelmed me, and I just can’t get away from His love. But ultimately, I keep finding myself back in this place of trying to measure up or attain some standard that is worthy of love. Or, I just give up completely and try to find ways to satisfy myself.
I want to be okay with not being strong. I want to be okay with being laid bare before Him. I want to wait in the pain and not run away. I want to actually let Him love me. I want to trust that He would love me in my failure.
I’ve tasted His love. I’ve felt His embrace. I don't want to live for anything else.
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You said this so well! I feel the same. I listened to Tim Keller's Prodigal Son message again this morning, and it is SO good (gets to the heart of all this). I think you'd like it (but, beware, tears are a very possible side-effect :) Love you
ReplyDeleteNow we just believe it, right? This was marvelously inspirational. Love you lots!!
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