His Greatest Mercy

Back story: I have been thinking a lot about God as Judge recently. And most of those thoughts have also been soaked in the knowledge that God is also Love, which I can share with you if you like, but the post here is, at surface, different.

Last night I was struggling with sexual stuff again- it was both keeping me awake and slowly making me not want to sleep. I knew that starting down that path would eventually make it harder and harder not to continue on it, but still I found myself inching down it nonetheless. Before giving in, I suddenly said, "I want to fear You." And immediately something altered. So I said it a few more times, and then fell asleep. [Falling asleep was a wonderful gift from Him, and I know also that He gave me those words because they came out of nowhere.]

This morning I awoke with revelations of His Power and His Judgment. I realized at any moment I could fall through the floor beneath me from an earthquake. And I realized any moment I could be standing before God the Father, more real than any tangible thing around me. And I asked for Him to have mercy even amidst His Judgment. And as the revelation of His Power became more and more real, I told Him I did not want a revelation of His Power and His Judgment without a revelation of His Love. I then quickly took that back thinking that any revelation of Him is worthwhile. I did, however, continue asking that He would also show me His mercy.

And this is the revelation that followed:

His greatest mercy is to reveal Himself. And when I do not fathom that truth, it is because I do not fathom the reality of His existence.

"And this is eternal life: that they know You, and Your Son whom You have sent." John 17:3

It is not just mercy amidst His Judgment that He reveals Himself [Ezekiel 6:13-14], but it is His mercy to bring Judgment so that we will know Him. To fear Him now is far better than to fear Him when it is too late.

This being said: His Love is stronger than death and His jealousy demanding as the grave! Can't wait for even more revelation of His Love!!!!! [Song of Solomon 8]